Research (in 2000) into the experiences and ideas of parents of foster
children gives a very diverse picture of foster care. It is a picture
of parents who need support, both prior to, but especially also after
placement in care. And it is a picture of different experiences of
that support. Around one third of the parents feel sufficiently supported
after the placement in care and say that they have a pleasant contact
with the family guardian and other responsible social workers. Two
thirds of the parents, however, experience insufficient support. They
have the feeling that after the placement in care all attention is
aimed at the child in the foster home, while the relation between
the child and parent is forgotten.
Almost all parents say that they need support with coming to grips
with the placement in care and with building up a new relationship
with the child and foster parents. Many parents have the feeling that
they come last, also because of the work pressure of the family guardian
and other social workers. On average parents have contact with the
family guardian a few times per year. This is not enough because it
is the family guardian who is the link between parent, child and foster
parents.
When it concerns the relationship with the foster parents the picture
is just as diverse. There are parents who are very satisfied with
the good relationship they have with the foster parents, but there
are also those who have not had a normal conversation with the foster
parents for years. A reasonable understanding and trust between parent
and foster parent seems, however, essential for the parent to accept
the placement, especially when it concerns a long-term placement.
Whether the foster children’s parents are able to have faith
in and accept the placement, seems to be dependent at least on two
things. First of all, it is important that the child ‘is all
right’ in the foster home. The second thing is that it is important
that the parent can maintain the role of parent one way or another.
Parents and foster parents should; this is also in the child’s
interest, invest in the mutual relationship. But in situations where
parents and foster parents cannot work it out together, involvement
of the family guardian is essential.
